


Jarosawa

by Alwaysdreaming95



Series: Sterek Stories [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Stilinski Family Feels, Therapy, stiles is 19, talk of stile's mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 07:23:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17658506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alwaysdreaming95/pseuds/Alwaysdreaming95
Summary: Stiles has had a question on his tongue since his mother was sick but always been afraid to ask. Who is Jarosawa?





	Jarosawa

“My mother being sick has always been a hard thing for me to handle. I’ve never wanted to talk about it, but someone I love and care about has lost family and is if not more scared of lose then I. I realize that covering up everything isn’t healthy or easy after all this time. I mean it’s almost 10 years since my mother passed and even longer since she first started to lose her memory and mind.”

The man in front of me turns to look at me away from his computer and notepad, “I’m glad you want this Mr. Stilinski, but I have to ask is this for you or for that other person?”

“Both… Either… I don’t really know, but this feeling and question I’ve had on my mind more than a decade is starting to eat at me. I had asked my father once after we lost mom and he was drinking…. It was probably the only time that he’d truly made me scared of him.”

The man looks quizzical as he asks, “What question would that be?”

“Who is Jarosawa? My mother would call out for her and when she’d see me… she was angry. Sometimes she’d cradle me and say I’m all she has and how she didn’t want to lose another child. From what I know and have gathered I’m the only child they’ve had. I thought mom got sick a couple years after I was born and it took a while to really show. When I asked my dad, he said some cruel things while waving a bottle around. It wasn’t my mother birthday, their anniversary, or the anniversary of her death, but he was drinking heavily like it was that day.”

“Why not try to ask him again?” the man asks me being serious as Derek, but not as calming as Derek’s look.

“The memory of his anger he had that day. I had asked things and tried to keep my mother alive mostly but he never accepted even now at times I find him staring at a photo album. One that I know is rather important to him and even though I want to look inside I’ve never been able to force to. I’m not sure why that is, but…”

“Maybe more than you’ve seen how important it is to your father and the memory of his anger is what drives you away.”

I scuff as I shake my head as I look up realizing my time is almost up, “That’s not it. It’s not that its how vulnerable dad has always looked when he’s looking through. Sure, there’s other albums tucked away gathering dust all with pictures of my mom, but that 1 he keeps in his room. I figured let him have whatever privacy he needed. Plus, who knows what’s inside.”

The man nods, but I shoot up as the clock shows an hour, “Now, not that it’s all on you doc, but I’m outta here.”

I rush out and into my car thinking that I’ll stop by the flower shop and stop by mom’s grave since it’s still early morning on mom’s birthday date. I make it all in record time and this time even though I’ve spent a lot of time in the cemetery and in the woods of Beacon Hills I stop when I take in a marker by my mother’s grave. I’ve only ever seen hers the few times I’ve been able to convince myself to see her. I see a Ja so I quickly wipe it sad that it was covered so much but it can’t be much older than my mother’s. I uncover it to read Jarosawa Stilinski and with how old she was. She was only a couple months old when she died…. When I was only 3 years old. I had a sister. A sister who died when she was barely there. I remember seeing girl baby stuff when I had gone through my stuff awhile back, but I remember dad telling me that when I was born everyone swore up and down, I was gonna be a girl. Yet… maybe he lied to me. I snap a picture and make my way home.

I slam my jeep door when I get to the house and notice that dad is gone. Damnit! I wanted to ask him. Calm myself down as I take in deep breathes until I come into the living room to notice a single urn with ashes. It wasn't marked with a name except for 2 types of flowers. I stare at them as I google it on my phone to find out that they are bleeding hearts and forget-me-nots. It looks like they were painted on. I smile thinking that maybe mom had done this.

A knock on the door makes me jump as I exit my thoughts a little bit later. I open the door to see Derek standing there. “Hey, Sourwolf actually using the door for once when dad isn’t home?”

“Shut up, you’re downstairs and Erica and Scott told me what today is. I thought it would be better for you not to be alone even with how much time has passed,” he tells me as his ears turn a slight pink.

I smile and I pull him into a tight hug, “Thank you, Derek.”

I lead him into the living room as I grab the urn and sit down on the couch. Derek follows my movements as he asks me, “I’ve noticed that while I’ve been here. Do you know whose it is?”

I shake my head, “No, but I feel like I do,” I hand my phone to Derek with Jarosawa’s marker on it. Derek stiffens as he looks at it, “I had no idea.”

I nod my head, “Well… don’t feel bad cause neither did I. I was 3 when she died and she was only 3 months old. Do you know what a 3-month-old can do? She barely got live a life. She’s more of a sore subject to my dad then mom is. It hurts. I wonder how she died.”

Derek pulls me into his arms as he holds me close to him as the front door opens. I ignore it focusing on hos safe and warm I feel in this man’s arms. I hear a couple things being put away knowing dad is locking away his gun and badge like he always does after a long day. As he passes the room, he nods his head, but seems to stop in his steps. I’ve never seen my dad move as fast as he had to take the urn from my hands and handles it with love and care 1 would show a child before he places it back on the bookcase.

“Stiles, what have said about that urn?” he asks me a bit harshly but I can tell it’s mostly from guilt and sadness.

“I know who’s that is now dad. Why didn’t you tell me about her? I had a sister that I never knew about. What do you blame me for her death?”

“You were 3 years old, Stiles. God, you don’t know what you are saying. I would never blame you for what happened to your sister. Though what happened to her your mother and I decided we weren’t going to try again. I guess Luckily, we didn’t. I don’t know what we’d do with a toddler when she got sick.”

“Then why dad? Why not tell me?”

“I blame myself, Stiles. I was working so much even then. I remember your mother calling the station and I was gone. I was out arresting some drunk idiot. When I got back Tara told me that your mother called sobbing. I barely even thought of what I was supposed when I just shoved the guy inside and ran home. Your mother was so angry with me that I wasn’t there earlier even though it was Sudden Infant death syndrome as the doctors later told us. I remember you asking and begging for your baby sister as days passed. Your mother wanted her cremated so she could still watch over her. She bought and painted that urn. I thought she was showing how upset she was when she painted those bleeding hearts and forget me nots. Yet now I just know how broken your mother was losing a child like that. We had such a hard to conceive you and we thought had another miracle when your sister was born. When she died it broke your mother. She was depressed so much for a year that I was worried about you, but she still put me to shame for how I acted when she died.” My dad stops for a second before he says, “Do you want to see her?”

“What are you talking about, dad?” I ask him.

Dad makes a motion for me to stay and I curl up closer to Derek for security and warmth. Dad comes down with the album I’ve seen him cry over on several occasions.

“This album is the 1 you mother and I put together when she was losing memories. Yet they are mostly of her, you, and your sister. Your mother hardly ever forgot me which made me happy, but guilty thinking how much that must have hurt you.”

I scuff as I look at him, “She was dying with no idea who I was screaming for you. I thought maybe I’d get 1 more moment of clarity before I lost her, but I never got that.”

Dad looks away as he opens the album to a page towards the back, “We placed a lot of her life in order. I was afraid we’d need a bigger book.” he flips sit around pointing to a tiny baby wearing a pink hat and what catches me is I’m holding her in my tiny toddler arms looking like she hung the sun. “You loved your sister more than anything. You tried so hard to get everything right when you’d say her name. You’d called her Jaro most of the time because you couldn’t say her full name properly most of the time. You’d hardly ever let her out of your sight. We had set up a bed for you in her room cause you’d always come in and stare at her through her crib. You could barely see in, but that didn’t stop you. When she died you slept in her room saying you didn’t want to miss it when she came back. Though you were so angry the first day saying she wouldn’t have left her uni, a small unicorn you picked out for her when your mother and I told you about her pregnancy and how it was a girl. You were so excited but upset cause it wasn’t a boy.”

I touch the photo that is only of a baby girl with green eyes like dad’s but everything else screamed mom. I poked at the picture and dad laughs. I look up as he says, “the first thing you did when you saw your sister was poke her cheek. I was an upset and told you not to while your mother simply laughed saying you were curious.”

Derek wraps me up more in his arms as he wraps me up in them tighter and more securely and I swear if he could he’d take away the pain in my heart.

“I just don’t get why you’d never talk about her,” I tell dad as he looks at me.

“I…” dad trips over his words and I can see his adam’s apple moving as he swallows time and time again.

Derek sighs as he says, “Noah, how about you clean up and eat something. Stiles and I will get the food ready.”

Dad hardly looks at me as he seems to move on autopilot listening to what Derek had told him. I let him then move me into the kitchen though he did most of the prep work and cooking while I just stood there holding the album in my hands staring at a young me with my head pressed against my mother’s belly. I feel the tears before I start sobbing crumbling to the floor.

“Stiles, it’s okay. Everything is fine,” he tries to bring me back telling me to breath in counting to 3 and breath out counting to 3. Yet it doesn’t help when I think about how I had forgotten someone who was so important to me and to make sure I’d stop asking for her at such a young age my parents put her to the side as if forgetting her was better than remembering her. I find a picture of me poking the baby’s cheek and another with my head looking like I’m a second from getting it stuck in the slots on it as I’m looking over her. Derek slowly pulls me into his arms as he holds me in his arms holding me tight placing a single kiss to my forehead. It feels perfect being in his arms so when he looks me in the eyes and all I see is adoration and love it's like something clicks in place.

“I love you,” comes out and I'm not sure which 1 of us said it but our smiles matched each other’s as I place a soft kiss to Derek's lips.

I swear that this is love was playing in background like in 1 of the pictures on the floor.

 

3 years later

Derek and I are standing in the office as the woman behind the desk says to us, “The mother didn’t name her. So, we’d like to ask what you’d like to put on the certificate?”

Before I can put a word in edgewise Derek says, “Claudia Jarosawa Stilinski-Hale.”

I feel tears as I look at him, “are you sure you don't want your mother's name she doesn't have to be named after my family.”

“Yes, she does. They are 2 beautiful girls that you ever loved and I want to honor them. We can save my family for next time.”

I smile at the thought of next time though when I take the baby into my arms, I take notice of her green eyes and see her future freckles and moles. She looks just like the newborn picture of my sister. I poke her cheek thinking she’s not real and Derek sighs when the baby starts crying.

“Of course, the first thing you do is poke her cheek. What did I tell you?”

I pout as I look at him and hear a slight laugh from my dad at the door wanting to be with us when we meet our little girl. Looking back, I can see a bright smile on his face, but there are clear tears in his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know I always thought of Stiles' not always being an only child. This story came to life and truthfully I was crying a bit while writing this. Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment or kudos if you liked it.


End file.
